It’s so simple..
My dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow
(Source: 6ood, via thefuuuucomics)
remember this show where this one dude had to guess what is he smelling and he put his nose into someones asshole and went “smells like ass” and the commentator went “correct” and this dude did the funniest expression ever. wheres that gif
Getting What You Asked For
A relationship is like a house
If a lightbulb goes out, you don’t buy a new house, you just change the lightbulb.
Unless that house is a lying whore
Then you burn the fucker to the ground and buy a better house with lights that you can fucking count on.
This took the best possible turn.